


Loneliness and devotion

by Ka_she_who_lurks



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, character exploration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 01:57:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13940103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ka_she_who_lurks/pseuds/Ka_she_who_lurks
Summary: Drift is prone to falling into a pattern when it comes to his more important relationships.





	Loneliness and devotion

Drift was prone to worship of those who gave him hope. It twisted something inside him, something that told him he was unworthy of it, that made him a follower instead of a friend, a tendency that was difficult to overcome. 

With Gasket it was simple; he was a guttermech along with the rest of them, understood ruthless practicality where idealism didn't stretch. He simply made life a little better.

Ratchet was, well, Ratchet was... something special. He hadn't figured that one out yet, and had centuries of practice not thinking about Ratchet, about something that filled him with the stirrings of regret, and the idea that there could be more than this.

Megatron... Megatron might have once been a good mech, one worthy of worship, and devotion, and the trust that he'd turn Cybertron into something better than it was.  
By the time he cultivated that kind of worship, however, he was not.  
But it was comfortable, wasn't it, being in the grip of Megatron, being certain, not having his head full of the doubts and spiraling thoughts he once had used to use circuit boosters to quiet.

And then there was Wing. There was too much distrust at first, and then the recognition that Wing, in his own way, was as desperate and lonely as himself.  
And then, with Wing's death, he was cast adrift once more, with only a sword and a code of honour to hold onto.

And then Rodimus.  
Rodimus, who, while doubtlessly flawed, was also compassionate, forgiving, merciful, passionate and wise. He was reckless and tried to live up to legends, but he also got up and tried again whenever a mistake was made.  
He tried to make things right, over and over, where a lesser mech would have given up long ago.

Drift could feel the quiver of feeling, the separating glass wall within himself, the part of himself that told him he couldn't, that he didn't deserve this, stopping him from being friends with Rodimus to the extent that could be.

And then, in a quiet moment between them, softly, haltingly, Rodimus spoke of Nyon, only to interrupt himself with a quip that didn't quite cover the self-loathing, just before distracting himself with something reckless few bots but Rodimus would consider.  
Drift felt as if he was struck by lightning, the glass wall shattered as if it had never been, his eyes wide.  
Oh.  
The wasted lives, the regret, the mistakes, the trying and the failing, the trying to be better...

Rodimus understood.

Drift had a best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, so, that Lost Light series sure makes Drift an interesting and complex character out of those Mary-Sue and/or 80's actionhero origins of his, huh?  
> Also, while previously my opinion on Rodimus was kinda meh, I really do believe he is a good person capable of being a great Prime, if he is allowed to grow and improve.


End file.
